


You're My Therapy

by paulwentz



Category: All Time Low
Genre: Gen, Highschool AU, M/M, all of the angst, all time low - Freeform, eventual jalex, fluff in later chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-06
Updated: 2014-06-30
Packaged: 2018-02-03 15:07:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1748954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paulwentz/pseuds/paulwentz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex Gaskarth is a sinner. His life is ruled by his lies and pretending he's okay when he's not. Pushing away all the people that care about him is tiring, until one day he gives in and lets the new boy, Jack Barakat, break down his walls.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

To Alex, lying was necessary. No matter how much it hurt him, or others, it had to be done. They couldn’t know what was going on inside his head. He wouldn’t let them. Because then they would pity him. Anger? That he could handle. But pity? Pity would break down the walls and barriers that he had spent his whole life creating, in less than a second.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” his mother asked, eyes scanning over his slim frame for any new scars, emotional or otherwise. “I’m fine,” he murmured. He hated this. Hated lying to her. Although it was kind of her fault for believing him. Wasn’t his mother supposed to know him more than he knew himself? It had been like this for years, and in all honesty, as much as he hated himself for thinking that way, he preferred it like this. She wasn’t reassured, he could tell. “Okay. Get ready for school,” she sighed, leaving his room. Leaving him to face the silence, and all the demons that came with it.

School wasn’t as bad. At least there, he could almost get away with not talking to anyone (who would want to talk to the quiet, emo kid anyway?).  
Most days were the same. Get to school, hide away, go to class, keep your head down, and most of all don’t talk.  
Because talking eventually lead to friends, and a friend to Alex, was just another person to have to lie to.

But as he stepped into the school’s halls that day, he could tell something was different (Alex also had a problem with change, and all the subsequent problems that came with it). As he walked past the office, he finally figured out what that “something different” was. A student. A new student, from the looks of it, who was….headed his way.  
He’d already noticed him, so there was no way he could sneak off without looking like a supreme jerk (not that he cared, he really didn’t), so he was stuck.  
“Uh…hey, I’m Jack, I’m new here…would you be able to maybe show me where my locker is? I’m sorry it’s just I have no idea where it is and with my luck, I’d be halfway to Australia and back before I’d find it” he chuckled, shuffling his feet. He really didn’t want to help Jack, because he’d have to talk to him and like he’d said before, “Yeah, that’s..uh yeah. What’s your locker number?” he muttered, cursing the words as they left his mouth. Jack looked up at him, obviously not expecting him to agree so quickly. “213.” He said, smiling. “Oh, that’s – that’s the one next to mine,” he murmured. What was with his luck today?

They walked to their lockers in silence, but for once in his life the silence wasn’t quite as loud. He felt almost…content walking with the other boy, and that scared him. He only just met the guy, he shouldn’t feel like this around him. As if he’d known him all his life. “uhm, is this it? Alex?” Jack asked, startling Alex from his thoughts.  
“Yeah,” he breathed, “Do you, you know, need any help with your locker?” He was already talking to the guy, might as well go the whole nine yards and be civil about it. The other boy shook his head, “I just transferred schools, I’m not brain dead,” he said, earning a small laugh from Alex. “Although, you might need to help me get to English.”

Over the next few weeks, Jack somehow managed to con Alex into walking him to classes and even sitting next to him at lunch. How he managed to do it amazed him, although Alex had a sneaking suspicion it might have something to do with the fact he was letting the other boy.  
Him and Jack were getting closer than he’d ever let anybody get before and for once in his life he was truly happy. Almost. There was always that voice in the back of his head, reminding him that once Jack finds out about him, he’d not want anything to do with him. That’s what happened to the others anyway. Granted, they didn’t find out from him, they discovered it themselves.

It was that discovery that landed him on Jack’s doorstep, about to do possibly the most stupid thing he’d ever do in his life thus far. He was going to tell him. Everything. At least that’s what he had come there planning to do. Instead, he was staring at the front door, hand poised to knock, when he realised he couldn’t do it. As he turned to leave, he heard the door open.

“Alex?” the other boy asked, confused. Alex looked up, startled. Not now, he wasn’t ready.  
“Hey can I talk to you? In private?” he asked, eyes darting to the side. Maybe, if he didn’t look at him, it would be easier. He more heard, rather than saw the door shut as Jack stepped towards him. “I need to tell you something. About me.”  
Jack nodded, “okay.”  
Alex took a shaky breath. “I’m messed up,” he starts, running his fingers through his hair, “for years now, I’ve lied, said I was okay. I’m not though. Not at all…I used to, still do, sometimes…hurt…myself, and others, try to push them away,” he pauses to breathe, sneak a glance at Jack. Who, more than anything, looked confused.  
“Spending time with you, being able to call you a friend...it made me realise I can’t lie anymore...i’d understand if you didn’t want to talk to me anymore, i’m a burden. always was,” he finished, staring intently at the ground. Anything to avoid looking at Jack. 

“Hey, look at me,” Jack said, tucking Alex’s fringe back, eyes searching the older boy’s, “Never say that about yourself again. you’re perfect okay? I know you may not believe it but you are. I’m so lucky to even have you in my life,” he murmured, “If I lost you…”  
Alex looked up at him in awe.  
Before Jack, he had no doubt in his mind that he was broken beyond compare - incapable of being fixed. But in that moment, staring up at the younger boy, he felt as though maybe, for once in his life, he had a chance.


	2. Chapter 2

They were sitting on Jack’s bed, watching some sort of movie (he didn't care what movie, considering after what happened earlier and being emotionally drained and all) since he’d all but begged Alex to stay, and he couldn't say he minded. Not just because, you know, they were friends and he’d just spilt his whole life story to the other boy, but since he’d have to walk home if he actually left.   
The room was quiet, apart from the low murmur of the tv, which gave him the opportunity to study the younger boy, who, surprisingly, was extremely invested in whatever was going on on-screen.   
“Jack?” he murmured, lightly tapping jack’s shoulder, earning a distracted grunt from the other boy.   
“Thank you. For everything.”  
“I’m pretty sure anybody else would do the same thing,” jack shrugged, “I mean...wouldn’t they?”  
Alex shook his head, “No, you’re the first person who stayed after…”  
He watched as the other boy turned to face him, movie forgotten. He looked furious. Although, Alex had a hard time wrapping his head around why, it was only him after all.   
“Why would anybody want to lose you?” he asked, incredulous.   
“I told you, i’m fucked up,” he murmured, “can we talk about it tomorrow? I’m tired and it’s getting late.”  
Jack shook his head, it was obvious to Alex that he wasn’t done with this conversation. Not by a long shot. But if he had to hear about how “perfect” he was to the other boy one more time, he was going to break down. Again.  
“Fine,” Jack sighed, “Night Alex.”  
“G’night jack,” he replied, closing his eyes, praying that sleep would come quickly.

And for once, It did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this chapter was so short, I'll update sooner to make it up to you guys!
> 
> Leave a comment/kudos if you'd like to see more of this story :)


	3. Chapter 3

Waking up the next day was…different to say the least. He was well aware that he was sleeping in the same bed as Jack, but he didn't know how his hands came to be wrapped around the other boy's waist. Alex quickly attempted to roll to the other side, but was halted by jack's hands pulling him close.  
"Morning honey," he murmured, voice still thick from sleep.  
"Shut up bitch," Alex retorted, subconsciously snuggling closer into Jack’s arms, seeking warmth.   
Jack scoffed, "please, we both know you're the bitch in this relationship."  
Alex opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted by a seemingly blinding light almost erupting from the room, which, as it turned out, was Jack's mum opening the bedroom door.  
"Good morning boys, it's time to get up for school," she murmured, before leaving the room without so much as another word.  
When he was sure she'd gone, Alex slowly extracted himself from the other boys arms.  
"Your mum."  
"What?" Jack groaned, rubbing his eyes as he slowly moved himself up so he was sitting next to him.  
"Your mum," Alex repeated, eyes wide.  
"What about my mum?"   
"She just…" he trailed off, making a vague gesture at the space between them.   
Alex watched as it clicked for the other boy, although, unlike himself, Jack seemed to find the whole situation hilarious.  
"Dude we were just cuddling, it's not like she caught us having sex or something," he laughed, rolling his eyes,"calm down."  
"I just - I - it's - I mean - we were - she probably thought - shut up,"Alex spluttered, feeling his face begin to heat up.  
Jack shook his head, clearly still amused.  
"Come on we gotta get up for school and all that," He murmured getting out of bed, "do you need any clothes since…"  
Alex nodded, "uh yeah that'd be great, thanks."  
He watched as Jack picked out some clothes for the both of them, catching his with ease as the other boy threw them across the room.  
As alex glanced at the clothes (plain black jeans, gray t-shirt, nothing too special) he realised that people'd probably notice the fact that, you know, he was wearing jack's clothes. Obviously, he'd said that out loud, if the look on Jack’s face was anything to go by.  
"Alex I think you're forgetting something here? New. Transfer. I'm pretty sure nobody has seen me wear that, seriously you need to stop worrying so much," Jack said, proceeding to get changed in the middle of the room (Alex wasn't staring, why would he?).  
"See something you like?" Jack joked, shimmying his hips as he pulled on his jeans (seriously they were like a second skin what the hell was he thinking when he put those on).  
Alex quickly averted his eyes, stuttering out a quick, “ i uhm - bathroom," before he scurried off to get changed.

As Alex walked down the stairs, he felt his mood from earlier that morning dissipate.   
It wasn't like he hadn't expected it, things like that happened all the time. It was like constantly walking across a tightrope. A tightrope, that he had a remarkable tendency to fall off of.  
He couldn't believe how stupid he was earlier, "idiot," he berated himself.  
"What now?" Jack asked, meeting him at the bottom of the stairs,"c'mon loser we're gonna be late."  
"What about breakfast?" Alex asked, confused.  
Jack shook his head. "no time, let's go."  
Alex let himself get pulled out the door by the other boy and into the car.  
"So," Jack huffed, slamming the door shut, "music?"  
Alex shrugged, "whatever you want."  
He watched as Jack shrugged, placing a cd into the slot, “Your fault if you don’t like it Lex.”  
Alex rolled his eyes, “i’m pretty sure your music taste is fine-” he paused, hearing an eerily familiar banjo riff emanate from the speakers, “Jack…”  
“What?” Jack asked, hardly removing his eyes from the road.  
“Is that...mumford and sons?” he asked, barely concealing his laughter. When he said whatever was fine, he’d imagined The Wonder Years or Real Friends maybe. Not Mumford & Sons.  
“Mumford & Sons are fucking great!” he argued, turning up the music, “If you don’t like them you can walk to school.”  
Alex scoffed, “What are you, a sixty year old redneck?”  
Jack sighed at him, “I’m disappointed Lex, you gotta feel the banjo roll, be a part of the banjo roll.”  
“You sound crazy, you know that right?” alex rolled his eyes.  
Jack laughed, “*Stars hide your fires*” he sung at the top of his lungs, “*These here are my desires and I will give them up to you this time around*”  
“Please stop,” Alex begged.  
“*And sooooo I’ll be found with my stake stuck in the ground*” Jack sung louder, smirking.  
Alex put his head in his hands, “fucking hate you jack,” he mumbled, only receiving a laugh and - oh god - more singing from the other boy.  
Needless to say, Alex found himself singing The Cave on more than one occasion throughout the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alex's views on Mumford & Sons are in no way influenced by mine. :P


End file.
